When Everything Changes, Who Do You Become? – On Motherhood and Creativity with Pissara Umavijani

There are people who build brands, and then there are people who build worlds. Sitting across from Pissara Umavijani, you feel immediately that fragrance has never simply been her profession – it has been her language, her memory, her way of loving. Through Parfums Dusita, she has created a universe that feels deeply personal. Poetic. Emotional. Alive.

Now, her world has expanded in ways both visible and invisible. In this intimate conversation, we talk about creativity, identity, exhaustion, devotion, scent, legacy, and the quiet question every woman eventually asks herself. When everything changes… Who do you become?

The last time we were together was in Berlin – I was about five months pregnant, and you had just won Perfume of the Year for Mélodie de L’Amour. When I think about your life right now, it feels so full… You’re a mother, you have five dogs, there’s so much travel, you’ve opened your own Parfums Dusita boutique in Paris, and you continue to create new perfumes year after year. So many of your dreams have come true. It almost feels like a world that is overflowing. Does it feel that way to you, or does it feel different on the inside?

It’s true… when I look back to that moment in Berlin, it almost feels like another life. When Mélodie de L’Amour received its award, everything felt like it was just beginning to open. Today, from the outside, it can look very full, but on the inside, it feels more like an expansion than a flood. There are moments when it feels overwhelming. Life doesn’t grow in a straight line – it unfolds, sometimes beautifully, and sometimes as a beautiful kind of chaos. [laughs]

I often say, I became a mother three times. First, when Parfums Dusita was born – that was my first baby, built with instinct, passion, and a lot of sleepless nights. Then, my five little Yorkies came into my life, each with their own personality, their own needs, their own love. And now, Avalynn – this last chapter, I never saw coming. I never imagined myself as a mother, but it changed something very deep in me. It brought me closer to myself in a very honest way.

Motherhood has taught me very quickly what truly matters. It strips away the unnecessary. I’ve learned unconditional love, but also the importance of balance. Not a perfect balance [laughs], because that doesn’t exist, but a living one. Some days are for creation, some days are for family, and some days are just for breathing and catching up. Time has become… very real. Very precious. I feel it more than ever now, so I try to choose how I spend it. Weekends in nature with Ava and the dogs, simple moments – those are the moments that refill everything. So yes, life is full. But it doesn’t feel like too much.

And what does a real day in your life actually feel like right now?

A real day is simple and very full. I wake up early, sometimes Avalynn wakes up before all of us, very calm, very rested. Then it’s a small morning ballet: preparing breakfast for her and the five dogs. I often wish I had time to do yoga or meditate… Some days I can, many days I can’t, and that’s okay.

After I take her to nursery, I step into work mode, either at the boutique in Paris or in my lab, creating. I work in focused moments, then pause after a few hours to breathe, ideally with a short walk. By evening, I’m back home.

Cooking, playing, being with Avalynn and the dogs. We go for a walk, we slow down. Then I plan a little for the next day and try to sleep early. It’s not perfect, but it feels real. And in that, there is a lot of peace.

I was thinking about your earlier years… when you first came to Paris, building everything from nothing. It felt like such a quiet, devoted, almost solitary kind of creation. Who was that version of you?

I remember that time very clearly. Arriving in Paris, starting from zero, completely alone. No team, no structure, just an idea and a very strong feeling that I had to follow. I spent most of my time building Parfums Dusita piece by piece. Looking for the smallest suppliers, learning everything by doing, caring about every detail. Nothing felt too small to matter.

When I think of that version of myself, I see someone with a lot of energy… but not necessarily confidence. I didn’t really know what success meant. I wasn’t chasing it. I just wanted to create something honest, something that felt true to me. Perfumery was my way of understanding myself. It was not easy. There were many obstacles. But it made me stronger.

Do you ever miss her?

In a way, yes. I miss her innocence, her freedom, that feeling of having nothing to lose. But I don’t think she ever disappeared. She’s still here… just transformed.

Motherhood changes everything! [laughs] What has motherhood taken from you?

Time! And a certain lightness. Before, I could disappear into creation for hours, even days, without thinking. Now, my time is not only mine. My energy too! There is less space for spontaneity, less silence, less sleep!! [laughs]

And what has it given you that nothing else could?

Motherhood has given me a new way to see myself. When I look into Avalynn’s eyes, I sometimes see my younger self. It’s like meeting her again, but with more tenderness, more understanding.

Your work has always felt so intimate, almost like it comes from a very protected inner space. How do you access this space now, with a life that’s so full?

That space is still there. But I have to protect it more consciously now. Before, it was always accessible. Silence was natural. Now, I need to create that silence. Sometimes it’s just one hour in the lab, sometimes a walk alone, sometimes very early in the mornings, those hours when the world is still sleeping.

Has your creative process changed?

Yes, it has changed. It’s less about long immersion and more about very focused moments. Almost like small windows where I go very deep, very quickly.

These small windows you mention – have you ever reached a point where you’re completely immersed in the creative process, so close to perfection, and then suddenly reality comes knocking? You have to switch instantly into mother mode and go collect Avalynn. In those moments, what do you actually feel – frustration, resentment, guilt, even a sense of unfairness – or have you found a way to move between those worlds without carrying that tension?

Yes… absolutely! I know that feeling very well. There are moments when I am deep inside the creative process, almost in another world. Sometimes I can feel that a formula is becoming truly special, and I want just one more hour… one more moment alone with it. And then suddenly, life interrupts. I have to close the notebook. Leave the lab and go pick up Avalynn.

Ofcourse, in certain moments, it can feel frustrating. Not because of her, never because of her, but because creativity is such a fragile and mysterious state. When I am inside it, I almost fear losing the thread forever. I don’t feel resentment towards motherhood. If anything, I sometimes feel sadness that we cannot stretch time itself. That women are often asked to hold so many worlds at once.

But when Avalynn runs into my arms, the frustration disappears very quickly. It reminds me why I work so hard in the first place. I think I have learned that perfection is not the goal anymore.

Life interrupts art. Love interrupts work. And maybe that is where the real beauty comes from.

Are you still creating from the same emotional place as before?

Emotionally, it comes from the same place. That hasn’t changed.

Do you feel like you can still be as devoted to your art as you once were and be the mother you want to be?

I still create from something very personal, very honest. The idea of devotion, though, has evolved. Before devotion meant giving everything, all the time, to creation. Now, devotion is about balance. Being fully present where I am. When I create, I am fully there. When I’m with Avalynn, I am fully there too. It’s not less devotion. It’s a different kind – maybe even a more conscious one.

From the outside, your life looks incredibly beautiful, but what don’t people see?

It is beautiful. But it is also very real. What people don’t always see is the tension between everything. The constant movement. Switching roles all the time: mother, perfumer, founder… And trying to do each one well.

Where do you feel stretched or even lost sometimes?

There are moments I do feel stretched – I wonder if I’m doing enough, or doing it right. And sometimes,… I do feel a bit lost, and when that happens, I go back to very simple things.

Where do you go, when you need to come back to yourself?

There are small rituals that help me. Walking is one of them. Nature immediately changes my internal rhythm. Smelling raw materials quietly also helps a lot. Sometimes even repetitive gestures – arranging flowers, making tea, cooking – can become a form of meditation. And strangely, when I stop trying, stop proving, stop reacting, and simply observe, it brings me back, very gently. That’s usually when ideas arrive to me. Not when I chase them.

You’ve always experienced the world so deeply through scent. Has becoming a mother changed the way you smell things?

Yes! Motherhood made it even more emotional. Scent became more intimate, more linked to memory, to comfort, to presence.

Are there scents now that feel different because of your child?

The smell of Avalynn, her skin, her hair… it’s something impossible to describe, but very powerful. It stays with me. Some scents feel softer now. Or more meaningful. Certain notes like milk, skin, warm fabrics, they touch me differently. There is more emotion attached to them.

Do you think Avalynn will one day recognise you through scent?

I do think scent creates a silent memory between people. Maybe one day she will recognise me through scent. Not in a conscious way, but a feeling. A familiarity. A sense of home. And I find that very beautiful.

Five dogs, a child, a creative life…. Is your home chaos? Or is it harmony?

It’s both! Chaos and harmony living together! [laughs] Some moments are loud, messy… toys, paws, little voices, everything all at once. And then suddenly, it becomes very calm. I don’t try to control it too much. I just let life be.

Is there a place in your home that still belongs just to you?

Yes, there is still a small place just for me. Not necessarily a physical space – sometimes just a moment. Early in the morning, or late at night. Or in my lab, when everything becomes quiet and focused. It’s not about space anymore, it’s about intention.

If you could write a letter to your daughter, what would you say to her at this moment in your life?

I would keep it very simple. I would tell her: be free to be yourself. Don’t rush to become anything. Take your time. Feel things deeply, but don’t be afraid of them. I would tell her that she is already enough, exactly as she is. And that no matter where life takes her, she will always have a place where she is loved, without condition.

When everything becomes quiet… if it ever does… Who are you now?

I am still the same person. A bit more grounded. Maybe softer, maybe stronger in a quiet way. Less in a rush to prove anything. More in a place of understanding. There is still curiosity, still sensitivity, still the need to create, but with more acceptance.

If this moment of life has a scent, what would it be?

It would be something soft and warm. Maybe the scent of skin, a touch of milk, something slightly powdery. With a gentle light, like early morning. And underneath, something grounding… woods, a quiet depth that holds everything together. Not a loud scent. Something close. Something you have to come near to feel.

To read where it all began – the first conversation with Pissara Umavijani, Embracing serendipity – explore the original story here.